That Bearded Mofo

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My 129-Word Essay On


Published Sat Mar 28, 2015 2:45pm PST

Where did this come from? Four years ago, nobody was talking about kale. No one ever heard of it. It was like Sia.

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No, I can't see ya.

Now it's invading our shakes, replacing our salads, and looking like The Hulk and an old sponge made a baby. Tasting like it, too.

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It's named after the sound you make
when you're struggling to swallow it.

Kale is considered a superfood. In related news, the word super no longer means what I thought it did. Kale is like spinach except not at all. It's terrible. People's idea of spicing up kale is adding carrots and cranberries. That's telling.

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There are theories as to why kale now and even theories as to why kale not. Here's my theory: kale rhymes with fail. Think about that.

It also rhymes with jail.



Hell... Kinda. If you're from the south.

~That Kale-faced Mofo~

My 129-Word Essay On

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